There is a fundamental need to be connected to others. Our everyday lives, our happiness, our survival, our growth and evolution — all of this is dependent upon our ability to connect to others. Even when one feels one is completely alone, they are dependent upon countless others. It is only the awareness which does not see or choose to experience this connection. And that is the byproduct of the defender/protector aspect of the ego. The one that is afraid to hurt. Afraid to feel the pain associated with connection and dependency. Afraid of “loss”. Afraid of being separated.
But it is nonetheless, a facade. If one is able to become honest with themselves, they may clearly see all the areas in their life which require they be dependent upon trusting others. Upon developing relationship with others. Even driving to the grocery store requires trust and dependency. One must trust that all of the other drivers will abide by the rules of the road, that they will acknowledge the presence of one’s own vehicle and harmoniously order themselves so as to facilitate one’s ability to arrive at the store without much difficulty. Once one enters the store, he or she is at the mercy of all the other shoppers and staff who operate such a charade. There must be trust that the truck drivers have delivered the goods which one desires, that the stockers have placed things neatly upon the shelves so that one may find what they seek. That the cashiers will properly total up the cost and receive one’s funds in exchange for one’s desires by way of food and drink.
So many things must align harmoniously for this event to occur at all. So many individuals must agree to assist one another. There are so many levels of exchange. And therefore, there is trust and dependency in this. There is relationship and connection, which leads to order. Which leads to the satisfaction of one’s desires.
This is just a small example.
One is never alone. In each moment, there are countless others who are vibrating nearly exactly at the frequency which one may find themselves inhabiting. In thought, in emotion, in words, in action — there is an endless stream of consciousness connected to oneself through others. If one chooses not to see this, chooses to isolate himself and commit to the notion that he is completely alone in whatever his plight or pleasure in a given moment may be, this is only a distortion. A delusion. And one which produces more suffering. More separation, and therefore more distortions and confusion. One need only become honest with themself about the feeling of this — the emotion surrounding such thoughts — in order to become aware they have taken a misstep. That they have turned in a wrong direction.
And the way back is connection.
I have found in my own life, that if I am able to become aware of the tiniest of connections and dependencies I have with others, I feel a sense of relief. A sense of kinship and purpose. A sense of meaning. A sense of desire. A sense of curiosity. And many of those emotions which begin to yield a movement. A subtle change in the vibrations I experience. I begin to “soften”. I begin to open. It is that process of a seed beginning to stretch itself upward. And perhaps even the silent reassurance that it will one day find itself amongst a field of endless flowers. Surrounded by beauty, and completely interconnected in the wonder of such beauty.
This awareness of connection is such a valuable tool. It tends to lead to more and more connection. The bounds of which I do not yet know. With each cycle of deepening my opportunities to connect to others, I feel more freedom. More truth. More aliveness. It is a composition of music. With peaks and valleys, chaos and resolve, joy and sadness, contraction and release. But the entire song is rather enjoyable if one is able to observe the entirety of it. The complexity of it. The wonder of it. And to not be attached to the movement one finds themselves “within” at any given moment, enough to lose perspective of the entirety of such a musical expression. Such a magical and wonderful thing. If I am honest and really allow myself to feel every single note while recognizing that this is simultaneously a song — a process — it nearly brings me to tears of pure gratitude.
How amazing is living? Being connected?
To know that the division one perceives is only a distortion of thought. What a relief! It doesn’t necessarily matter if the experience one is having waivers from this knowing; of course we must all play our part in the grand cosmic orchestra. But it is a feeling of joy and silliness to know that while being fully committed to the role one is meant to play in this moment, one is also the other. All others. See this — take this in. Inhale, and exhale. That is it. No effort. Quite the opposite, in fact.
I am so grateful for the people in my life I am connected to.
Exponentially so to the ones whom I am intimate with. Those who I share a conversation with, a hug with, a meal with, my sadness and fear and pain with, my joy and laughter with, my yogic practices with, my work with, my music with, my mind with, my being with, my love with. And all of this culminates, deeper and deeper, with each year I continue on my journey. Each time I turn around, I realize that I am experiencing new levels of connection all the time. As long as I allow myself to see this. To appreciate this. To consciously participate in it.
It is almost overwhelming! The more I see, the more sensitive and simultaneously resilient I become. I can feel everything, deeper and deeper. I have more and more ability to create in the moment, with myself and others. To share beautiful moments. To share ideas. To share disasters. To share love. To share pain. To continue to write the song, and listen to the music. Creation and destruction.
What an absolute beauty to behold. To be able to say “I love you”, and mean it with every fiber of my being. And feel it reverberating. To be able to receive it, fully. This is the greatest gift of life.
So be connected! Be dependent! Share in love.
One can never run out of love to give, nor love to receive. That is the promise of life. Do not be fooled by distortions.
